Nothing But A Martyr
by Cougarfang15
Summary: Sometimes things aren't just meant to be. "Eijun, I can't stand seeing you like this all the time. Something needs to change." Sawamura has been locked into an abusive relationship for over a year. Can Miyuki help him to ending this vicious cycle before it's too late? Mostly Misawa, some Eijun/OC. M due to abuse, violence, mention of nudity, self-harm.
1. Chapter 1

**This idea came to me last night and I probably should have gotten up and wrote it right then but of course I had class today! So here, it is. It may be a little slow going in the beginning, but I promise it will pick up in around the third chapter. There will some OOC so bare with me please! For the most part I will put forth my best effort to capture their characters!**

**This story is currently being beta'd for me, however, it has already been two weeks and I really wanted to get this to you guys as soon as possible, especially with three exams skyrocketing towards me and homework out the wazzu. When my beta reader finished her corrections, I will edit the story as necessary. **

**Continuous stories aren't usually my forte, since I can't usually write without being inspired and I lose sight of my goal halfway through, but I have high hopes for this story!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights belong to their rightful owners! If I owned anything, I probably wouldn't need to go to college and be up in my neck in freakin' homework.**

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I groaned and rolled over onto my right side, slapping my hand several times against my alarm clock in an attempt to find the off button. I stretched out my arms and legs before attempting to open my eyes.

Light heavily shone through the blinds of my dorm window and I groaned in reluctance. I sat up on the edge of my bed and stretched once more before reaching over to the nightstand to grab my glasses.

I began to follow my normal morning routine. I dressed and went to grab some breakfast before running over to brush my teeth and then drink my juice (an idiotic mistake I seemed to make every morning) then proceeded to rush off to class just barely on the verge of being late.

Classes went on, boring as usual.

And then there was practice.

The sun baked down against the field, brightening the color of the orange-yellow sand. I inhaled deeply and sighed. I could never get over how the smell of the dirt made me feel.

"OI! MIYUKI-SENPAI! CATCH MY PITCH TODAY!"

I turned and couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. A very determined Eijun was screaming to me, pushing a very annoyed looking Furuya behind him, who was attempting to yell something at him, but I couldn't quite catch what it was.

Smirking, I yelled back to him.

"Hey, hey. What makes you think I'd want to catch your pitch today Sawamura? You can pitch to the net."

My response immediately earned me an outraged yell from Sawamura and a smug look on Furuya's face.

It's not really like I preferred catching one's pitch over the other. But Sawamura is just always so much fun to tease.

I went and began to adorn my catchers gear and Furuya went over and began to stretch his arm. I could see a dejected look in Sawamura's eye as he walked over to the net. I rolled my eyes and headed in his direction.

"Oi, Bakamura."

Said boy turned to me with a questioning look on his face.

"I'll catch a few of your pitches near the end of practice so don't be such a whiner! Haha!"

He grinned a bit and nodded then frowned at me.

"I AM NOT A WHINER MIYUKI!"

I laughed lightly and gave him a wave of my hand before heading over to an impatient Furuya. He asked no questions though and I got down in position, ready for him to pitch. His pitches did not dissapoint.

"You're looking good today Furuya! Let's throw a few before you get too hot eh?"

He grumbled about being fine and I snickered as his pitch hit my mitt with amazing speed. That boy is such a hot head deep down. It was so easy to irritate him! And the way he and Sawamura were always going at it? Priceless!

We threw quite a bit. When Furuya really started to sweat I knew he should probably head off. He was insistent that he stay and pitch more but I blew him off.

"Why would I want to catch your pitch when you're like that? No. Go rest. Besides," I chuckled. "I told Sawamura I would catch his pitch too."

Furuya's face was priceless and I started cracking up as he walked away irritated. I stretched a bit, sore from squatting down and yelled over to Sawamura. He grinned and immediately began sprinting. We set up and began.

His form was good today, but his ball was crazy all over as usual. I could really tell he had been working on his stamina and the way he holds the ball. His four seamer was looking great and I knew he had probably pitched a lot to the net before heading over here.

We'll make an ace out of him yet.

We continued our throwing a little after practice had ended. The boy was getting tired though so I decided it was enough.

I waved my hand and stood. He looked a little disappointed to be stopping, but wiped the sweat from his face and removed his glove. He then turned to me and grinned.

"Miyuki! How was that today? I was good!"

I rolled my eyes at his enthusiasm and ego. I wasn't going to inflate it for him that's for sure.

"Ehhhh, I don't know. You seemed pretty much the same to me. But man is Furuya's stamina improving or what?"

I snickered as he gave me a dirty look before plopping down and lying in the dirt. I walked over and nudged him with my foot.

Okay, maybe I kicked him a bit.

"What are you doing down there? Going to start living amongst the worms Sawamura?"

His laugh was light and he shut his eyes. I watched him for a moment as he laid there, dirt in his hair and covered with sweat. The sun was starting to go down a little so it was cooling off outside which was a nice change.

Suddenly, Sawamura burst up and his eyes flew open. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Oh no! What time is it?!"

As he frantically began running to the dugout I shook my head.

"What do you think I am? Some sort of human clock. Why would I wear a watch with your crazy pitching? You'd probably break it."

I grinned, baiting him slightly but the look in his eyes as he discovered his phone in his bag was wild. His sweat seemed to increase rather than decrease despite the change in temperature.

"Oh no... I'm late, he's going to kill me!"

I tilted my head slightly and began to walk over to him.

"Oi, are you talking about Kuramochi? He probably beat you up either way, just so you know."

I laughed at my own joke, but Sawamura didn't seem to find it funny. He quickly began texting and frantically threw his bag over his shoulder. He said nothing to me as he brushed passed me and I frowned.

"What? No 'thank you' for your senpai who spent his time catching your pitches?!"

I turned but he had already broke off into a run, on the phone with someone who he was repeatedly muttering apologies to. I couldn't help but feel slightly irritated. Here I was, spending my valuable time with him and I didn't even get appreciation?

I shook my head slightly and went to removed my catchers gear. It shouldn't have bothered me so much but still. It was the principle of the matter.

It was around ten o'clock when Sawamura showed up at my dorm. It had began to sprinkle lightly outside just a little bit ago and I was just about to go to bed when I heard a light rap on my door. I opened it to find a semi-soaked first year, his hands in his pockets and a dejected look on his face. He scratched the nape of his neck before glancing up and me and giving me a very small smile.

"Hey Miyuki-senpai."

I crossed my arms and leaned on the door frame. I was still a little bit sore still from earlier but it wasn't anything a little teasing couldn't make feel better. I smirked.

"You're going to catch cold! Oh, but idiots don't catch colds."

His irritation seemed to be more than usual but whatever he needed was more important because he began looking at the ground again and didn't take my bait.

It's no fun if he doesn't fight back.

So I sighed and fully opened the door.

"What do you want at the hour Sawamura? Some of us have been up late doing homework and would like to get some sleep."

He bit his lip and looked up and me then seemed to lose his nerve and turned away.

"Never mind. I-I shouldn't have come. I guess... I guess I'll just go. Yeah, I'll go."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his wrist as he began to walk away.

"Oi, oi. You make me get up for that? At least tell me what you came for."

He chewed on his bottom lip again in what seemed to be debate before bowing to me.

"PLEASE LET ME STAY HERE TONIGHT SENPAI!"

I released his wrist and gazed at him. Something was a little strange about his attitude. But I guess something was always strange about the energetic little pitcher. I sighed and stepped aside so he could enter. His grin was one of relief rather than happiness though. I shut the door behind him and he looked around at my room.

"I guess since I don't have any other roommates it won't be much of an issue. But why do you need to stay here?"

He glanced at me for a second and I thought what I saw was fear in his eyes but I quickly dismissed it. He laughed and scratched at his shoulder.

"Ahh... I ate a pudding that was not mine. I should be more careful I guess..."

He seemed to trail off and his eyes glazed over slightly but I shrugged.

"The bottom bunk is mine. You can sleep on the top," I began to rummage through my drawers and threw him a clean shirt. "I don't think any of my pants will fit you, I'm pretty sure we are a different size... oh no, here. These should fit you. They're from last year."

He glanced at the shorts I threw him nervously.

"Um, shorts? Couldn't I just wear my pants to bed."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Hey now, next time you go doing this you can remember to pack your own clothes. I'm not going to get soaked from you drippin' water through the mattress!"

He nodded and mumbled an apology before turning to change quickly. I rolled my eyes and began looking in my closet for some spare blankets in case he needed some. I turned to ask him how many pillows he slept with, but my question died in my mouth.

His back was covered in some large bruises, five or six of them. Most of them had a yellowish tint to them and were almost healed but two of them were an ugly bluish hue. His legs were no better. A few scars that could have been accident's but there was one dark reddish blue bruise along the outside of his leg. It had four indents just larger than the size of my fingers that were darker than the rest of the bruise and whatever had caused it had slid across his skin.

Just above his waist band on his left hip was a mess of bandages that looked like they had soaked up blood and it had dried. They hadn't been changed in awhile and it looked painful.

"My god. Did Kuramochi do that?"

His eyes wild and frantic, he turned to me. I could hardly register his words as I tried not to stare at the angry healing bruises and scars on his chest.

"It's rude to stare at people!"

His growl provoked me and I met his angry eyes.

"It's rude to show up unannounced at your senpai's dorm."

He dropped his gaze and slid the shirt on. He apologized and thanked me for letting him stay for the night before folding up his wet clothes and removing his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants. It was ringing.

He glanced at it with a sickened look on his face before powering it off and setting it along with his wet clothes by the door.

His response and attitude made me feel a little guilty about snapping back at him but I shook it off. I walked over and ruffled his hair and grinned at him slightly. His eyes were glazed over again and he almost looked sad.

"Hey come on. You need to get some freaking sleep or your pitching wont even be worth catching tomorrow. Don't think just because you're staying here for tonight means you get dibs on me as your catcher!"

I smirked and he gave a small half-hearted smile before nodding.

I turned off the lights and climbed into my bunk to try to get some rest, but my mind was haunted by images of Sawamura's scarred and bruised body, leaving my dreams to conjure up whatever it could to satisfy my curiosity of just what kind of monster could do that to someone.

**So that's the end of chapter one. Miyuki is definitely a hard character to portray in my opinion. I may decide to write third person or maybe I will keep it this way.**

**Review please! Let me know what you think or any ideas that could help me capture Miyuki's personality more. Ja ne!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey mina-san! I see many of you have followed this fic but not nearly as many review. Please review when you read! It is what inspires many writers to continue and it inspires me to update! I also love to hear your opinions!**

**I have literally done nothing but watch Daiya no Ace and Kuroko no Basuke all day. I need to be more productive, so I figured I'd start writing before I go for my run.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Anything recognizable is not mine. Anime owns this world, we're just all living in it. **

**Going to give it a go in third person rather than first. Let me all know what you think! Arigato for reading!**

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Miyuki groaned and attempted to reach over to his alarm clock. He smacked his hand on the off button and fumbled for his glasses before sitting up and stretching. He sighed.

Just another everyday morning.

Miyuki paused for a moment and sat in silence. He closed his eyes in thought. He was definitely forgetting something important...

Miyuki opened his eyes and glanced at the top of his bunk bed and couldn't help but chuckle.

Despite his loud and obnoxious alarm clock, there was still a loud obnoxious pitcher snoring away on the top bunk of his bed.

Miyuki grinned an evil grin as he climbed up the ladder silently and gazed at Sawamura. His face was a little scrunched up and he was covered in a light sheen of sweat. It was clear that he wasn't having the best dream in the world. He had tossed his pillow onto the floor at some point during the night and one of his blankets were tangled around one of his legs, the rest were strewn about the bed.

It almost made Miyuki rethink what he was about to do. Almost.

Miyuki grinned widely and cupped his hands around his mouth. He took a deep breath and...

"SAWAMURA YOU OVERSLEPT! COACH SAYS NO PITCHING TODAY!"

Sawamura flung forward in haste and smacked Miyuki's forehead, causing him to fall to the floor.

"WHAT? No! No pitching?"

Sawamura jumped off the bed and began hastily grabbing at his clothes.

"Oh no! They're still wet! What'll I do?"

Miyuki couldn't help but to laugh.

"Oh! My sides! Haha, oh."

Sawamura turned, as if just realizing he wasn't alone. He stared at Miyuki for awhile before dropping his clothes and looking at him with his usual outraged face.

"We're not late! You're such a liar Miyuki!"

Miyuki continued to laugh before wiping the tears from his eyes and calming himself down. He grinned at Sawamura and chuckled softly.

"Alright, alright. We should get ready though. We've wasted enough time. You should hurry if you're going to make it back to your dorm and get some clothes and still make it to class on time."

Sawamura laughed lightly as he began adorning his wet clothes. Miyuki turned, attempting not to stare at the ugly scars and bruises again.

"Leaving in the same clothes you came in? What will people think Sawamura?"

Miyuki chuckled a little bit and he could hear Sawamura grumble about how inappropriate of a person he was.

"Thank you!"

"IT WASN'T A COMPLIMENT!"

Miyuki laughed and watched as Sawamura flipped on his phone. He bowed just ever so slightly.

"Arigato Senpai..."

Miyuki stared at him for a moment before waving his hand.

"It was nothing."

Sawamura grinned and opened his mouth to say something but his phone began to go off, interrupting him. He frowned and as Miyuki raised an eyebrow Sawamura scratched the back of his head.

"Aha, I guess I have a few texts I need to read..."

Miyuki nodded and Sawamura bid him goodbye, rushing quickly out of Miyuki's dorm. Miyuki couldn't help but sigh.

There was something going on with that boy more then he let off.

* * *

Practice was really rough on Miyuki's end that day.

Miyuki started out just like the usual practice. He adorned his catchers gear and headed to the bullpen. They had a game coming up, so it was crucial that all pitchers get their workouts in. Miyuki caught for Furuya for a bit and then for Kawakami. At the end of practice Miyuki took over for Chris-senpai and caught for Sawamura.

Which is when Miyuki began having problems.

He hadn't really thought about it much at all today. He had gone throughout his usual classes, got some homework done during lunch, and had caught for both Furuya and Kawakami without any issues.

But now, looking at Sawamura on the mound, Miyuki couldn't help but have his mind wracked with images from what he had seen the night before. Every pitch the pitcher threw Miyuki couldn't help but picture him in those shorts and his shirt off, bruises and scars marring his body.

"Miyuki!"

Said boy snapped his head up to see a frustrated looking pitcher.

"What are you doing? How am I supposed to pitch to a catcher whose not paying any attention."

Miyuki laughed but the sound was dry.

"Sorry, sorry. I guess I'm getting tired. Lets go a little longer, if you're up for it."

The pitcher nodded and threw another ball. The more Miyuki attempted to focus on his pitching, the more he found himself picking out things about Sawamura. How he put more weight on his side with less bruises, how he had been quieter today than usual, and how his speed was lacking today.

Sawamura sighed, aggravated and Miyuki gazed at him apologetically from beneath his mask and glasses.

"Sorry Sawamura, I guess I'm hungry, aha."

Miyuki's excuse just made Sawamura sigh, but then he grinned.

"It's okay! I got plenty of pitching done with Chris-senpai today! And I have somewhere I have to go tonight..."

Miyuki nodded and ran over to the dugout where he had set some of his things. As he was removing his catchers gear and checking his phone he could just make out Sawamura's phone conversation.

"Well I'll be there soon... NO! I wasn't doing anything with anyone! I was pitching! … I did fantastic thanks for asking!"

Miyuki shook his head and chuckled. What a conceited pitcher that boy was.

"Well I... but... Yeah. Yeah I know. What? Don't! No! It's okay, I'll be there soon... Yeah, I love you too."

Miyuki froze. I love you? Sawamura had something else on his mind besides baseball?

He listened to Sawamura run off and sat on the bench in the dugout, deep in thought.

Those scars, those bruises, could they be from Sawamura's girlfriend? Could a girl do that to him? Or... was Sawamura into boys?

Miyuki gathered his things and shook his head as he begun heading back to his dorm. He had thought that maybe it had just been Kuramochi, getting too rough with Sawamura during their wrestling matches but disregarded that. There was no way Kuramochi could have made the scars and no way that some of those bruises...

Miyuki shook his head vehemently again. No. It wasn't his business and he should stay out of it. Sawamura was a strong boy and he was old enough to make his own decisions and take care of himself. Whatever was going on would be worked out, Miyuki was sure of it.

He arrived at his and threw down his bag. Making sure to take his homework out and set it on his desk, he gathered his things and headed to the bath.

* * *

**Well I think I'm going to leave it here. This is kind of hot off the press, so the may be some errors. My apologies. Not sure how I feel about it yet, still deciding on the point of view, it's really bugging me. **

**Just so everyone knows, once the story really gets going it may become M due to explicit violence and alcohol abuse. I may keep it T, but I'm not sure. Let me know what you think. **

**THANK YOU FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**So I've totally been going through my favorites and found the fanfic that inspired me to get a fanfic account. It is an unfinished fic, but it's just sheer masterpiece and it makes me so sad that I'll probably never view the end of iMissa's For One More Day. On the bight side I'm seriously super re-inspired and all I want to do is write. Hold on to your seats mina-san, this is gonna be a good one. I can feel it.**

**On a side note, I requested more reviews and BLAM did you guys deliver. THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT MINA! **

**I just left class, and I should really be doing some math homework. Like, seriously, college is awful. I mean SERIOUSLY, I have like 4 pages left and an exam on Thursday. But I mean really, when am I going to use math in a Computer Science Major? …**

**Anyways...**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! If I owned Daiya no Ace there would be SO much more Miyuki. Because I mean seriously, just how fantastic is he?**

"What are you doing here again?"

"Please let me in senpai. This is very important..."

Miyuki sighed as he looked over the younger boy. This was the fourth night this week he had asked to stay with him. He would always show up around the same time, standing on his doorstep, gazing at him with eyes full of fear and apprehension. Miyuki wasn't even sure what to make of the situation anymore.

He had even gone and spoke to Kuramochi and Masuko the other day. Masuko had shrugged. He had noticed Sawamura going out at night, but was too absorbed in his own training to pay much attention to the boys tendencies. He had just thought maybe he was going running or having some fling with a girl.

Kuramochi was more helpful.

Kuramochi and Miyuki were good friends. They had been close for awhile so Miyuki knew he could confide in him about what he had seen and how it made him feel. Kuramochi had made sure they were alone, knowing that if Miyuki had something serious to talk to him about that was non-baseball related than it must have been something very important.

Kuramochi had stated that he had noticed the scars and bruises. There had been some light bruising when Sawamura had just moved into the dorms. They were few in number and healing nicely. There were no scars other than the fact he had a scraped up knee. Kuramochi had disregarded the bruises, but on one occasion while they had been wrestling, Kuramochi had hit one of the bruises. Sawamura had shaken it off, saying the bruises came from baseballs usually.

Kuramochi had also stated that sometimes their kouhai wouldn't even show up at night. He'd come to the dorm shortly after dinner, grabbing his bag and some homework, sometimes a change of clothes. He'd mumble something about tutoring then training. When they'd wake up in the morning he'd be there, completely exhausted, but there nonetheless.

Masuko and Kuramochi both told him that he should train less, and study with them if he really needed help but the boy had shook off their offers. Despite everything though it hadn't really seemed like there was anything bothering the boy too much.

But then Miyuki asked about his phone.

Every night that Sawamura had come to his dorm, Miyuki couldn't help but notice how wild his phone would go. It would ring every twenty minutes and he would get a text every ten. Kuramochi _did_ notice that. It wasn't Wakana. He had stolen Eijun's phone several times to reply to the girl and mess with her. On one of those occasions, he had seen a text from another sender. The name was Akuma. The text had been rather angry, telling Eijun how stupid he was but Kuramochi had just thought maybe it was just one of his friends messing with him. After all, how many times had they told Eijun how stupid he was?

So here he was now, staring at said first year. His eyes were downcast and he reminded Miyuki to something of a kicked puppy.

Sighing, he opened the door and stepped aside to allow Sawamura into his dorm. The grin on the younger boys face almost made Miyuki smile.

Almost.

"Arigato, Miyuki-senpai!"

Sawamura walked into the dorm and set down his bag. He had brought one last time too and Miyuki vaguely wondered if he had been planning on sleeping somewhere else.

Shrugging to himself, Miyuki set up his homework and had a seat at his desk. Sawamura pulled his out as well and began to quietly work on the floor, only stopping to glance at his phone and make aggravated noises every time he looked at it.

After about an hour, Miyuki felt himself feeling a bit peckish before bed.

"Neh, Sawamura?" The first year inclined his head as a signal that he was listening so Miyuki continued.

"I'm going to run and grab a snack from the machine. You want something?"

He nodded.

"Aa, thanks. A sports drink."

Miyuki nodded and stood, brushing off his clothes and slipping on his shoes. He hurried to the vending machine as fast as he could. The cold air was nipping at his nose and ears as he gathered his bag of chips and a sports drink for Sawamura.

As he neared his dorm, (as well as the bottom of his chips bag to his dismay) Miyuki slowed his walking. The air was tight and full of tension and the cold suddenly seemed to dissipate.

Something was wrong.

"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Something was very wrong.

Miyuki dropped the sports drink and empty bag of chips as he booked it to his dorm. He flung the door open and froze as his body began to tremble in anger.

There was a tall boy, taller than Miyuki, possibly taller than Tanba-san standing in his room in front of Sawamura, his shirt in his hand, the younger boy was lifted against the wall by the collar of his shirt.

The tall boy turned and glanced at Miyuki as Sawamura sighed a sigh of relief. Miyuki took a moment to really look at the boy. Besides being tall the boy seemed rather muscular. He wasn't very bulky, but he was skinny with solid looking muscles. His hair was bright red and spiked and he had two strands of hair hanging in his face. He had on a white tank-top and his jeans were sagging ever so slightly. He looked pissed off.

His eyes were a bright shade of electric blue and surrounding one of them was a large black eye, making him look like a panda. Had Sawamura done that?

"Who the fuck are you?"

Miyuki frowned and kicked the door shut behind him.

"Oi, oi. I should be asking you that." He took a step forward and the boy dropped Sawamura who scrambled away from him to the other end of the room. "What are you doing in my dorm?"

The boy scowled and a low rumble came from his chest as his sized up Miyuki.

"_Your _dorm?" He turned to Sawamura, a furious look in his eyes.

"What? You cheating piece of shit! I knew you were cheating on me. I should kill you."

Miyuki growled and anger flashed in his eyes as he took another step.

"I don't know who you are or what you're doing here, but you're leaving. _Now."_

The red-headed boy took a step closer to Miyuki so that they were hardly a foot apart.

"I'm Eijun's boyfriend. And I'll go wherever I want."

"Like hell you will."

"Why don't you make me leave, four-eyes?"

Miyuki seethed inwardly. He had always hated that nickname. So uncreative. So idiotic. And yet still...

He took a deep breath. He wasn't an idiot. Fighting on school grounds was strictly prohibited.

"Listen, I don't know what kind of idiot you are or what kind of idiot you think I am but-"

Miyuki suddenly found himself lifted off the ground and he grinned at the boy.

"What did you call me?"

Miyuki laughed loudly and he could now hear Sawamura yelling at him to apologize but he shook it off.

"Ohhhh? You hard of hearing? I said idiot. I-di-ot? You know that word?"

The boy raised his hand and Miyuki grinned wider. This wasn't his first rodeo.

"I'm going to pound your face in."

Miyuki grinned widely at him.

"Oh? Here? In my room? On such a big campus? You think tons of large, trained, baseball boys won't come to my aid if I yell? Or will I even need them?"

Miyuki's eyes flashed darkly and for a moment the taller boy faltered, lowering Miyuki just a hair. Even from across the room Sawamura could recognize the sheer anger in Miyuki's eyes. He had seen it before, only once when he had insulted his wonderful Chris-senpai. But that was back before he knew just how wonderful Chris-senpai was.

Part of Sawamura wanted to cry and part of him wished to fight. But he had already tried that, the black eye around his boyfriends left eye was proof of that. It only made him angrier, and his beatings more violent.

The taller boy raised his fist as he slammed Miyuki against the wall. Miyuki lifted his chin up and looked the boy dead in the eyes, daring him to hit him. They stood like that for a minute, Sawamura's words dying in his mouth before he could bring himself to speak them, the taller boy faltering, and Miyuki's unwavering courage.

"You're nothing more than a bully. And you're not the first one I've encountered. You're not the biggest either. In fact, you're sort of on the small side."

Miyuki's laughter lasted for a few seconds and Sawamura couldn't help but squeeze his eyes shut tightly as he saw his boyfriend swing his long arm forward. He could hear the impact to Miyuki's face and heard glass crack. When he opened his eyes he could see Miyuki's calm demeanor in his eyes even through his now busted glasses. There was blood dripping from his nose and it was all red. Even from the other end of the room Sawamura could tell that it was broken.

In anger, Sawamura stood and took a step to the two boys but stopped as he saw the anger flash yet again in Miyuki's eyes.

"You broke. My glasses."

He swung his dominant hand into the red-head's gut and he dropped Miyuki. They glared at each other for a moment.

"Leave. Now. Or I'll give you another black eye."

The taller boy stood, his left hand holding his gut.

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a promise."

They stared down for a moment longer before the boy with the red hair scoffed.

"I'm here for Eijun. It's none of your business."

Miyuki grinned.

"Ohhh? My pitcher, my problem. Are you the one who has been giving Sawamura all those scars and bruises?" Miyuki's voice lowered dangerously.

"What kind of worthless boyfriend are you?"

The boy flung his arm to grab Miyuki again, but Miyuki caught his wrist.

"You're pathetic. Leave now. And don't come back."

The boy jerked his arm from Miyuki's grasp and spat at him.

"I'll leave. But only because I can't stand to see your face. But I _will _be back."

The boy brushed past passed Miyuki, making sure to shoulder check him as he left, slamming the door behind him.

**Soooooo this chapter was going to be much longer, but my mom totally just came into my bedroom and is telling my my driving test is tomorrow (I'm like, almost 20 and have had a fear of driving since I was 16 and just recently have been able to drive without freaking out). So I have to go find someone to drive with like, right now. Because I don't drive with my mom. **

**S****o what do you guys think about the chapter size though? Would you rather have shorter chapters and more frequent updates or longer chapters and bi-weekly updates or so? Let me know.**

**THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey y'all. I'm sorry this chapter has taken so long, my sincerest apologies. I failed my drivers test and have been having some other issues school and friend related (even though I am too old for this kind of crap thats going on) and having a little problem with getting motivated. I'm also trying to think of some ideas for maybe a Halloween oneshot. I'm not sure if it will be Daiya no Ace, but I'd like to do something festive if I can think of some ideas. I'm also probably going to do a Christmas oneshot as well, but I'm not sure for which anime also (I'm so indecisive!).**

**But you guys have waited long enough and I'm sure you don't care to hear me droll on any longer so without further ado...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. All right belong to their rightful owners and anything that you recognize does not belong to me. **

Miyuki sighed a sigh of relief as the tall boy left. He removed his glasses solemnly and began to examine them. Geez, where was he going to find the money to fix these?

As if hearing his thoughts, Sawamura called out to him.

"Akuma-kun will pay for those. I'll make sure of it."

Miyuki turned to him, anger still present in his eyes.

"You're going to continue to talk to that asshole? After all he's done? After how he acts like that? Are you serious Sawa-"

"I'm just going to ask him to pay for what he broke. He's drunk, he doesn't mean it. He never means it when hes drunk..."

The room was silent for a moment as Sawamura began to study the ground and Miyuki stared at him. Eventually Miyuki sighed and set his glasses on his desk.

"We can talk about it in the morning. It's late right now, did he hurt you?"

Sawamura opened his mouth to answer when the door swung open and slammed against the wall. Into Miyuki's room piled Tanba, Testu, Harucchi, Kuramochi, and Masuko.

"Miyuki! Sawamura! What's going on? We were all outside doing our practice and this hotshot come from your room and kicks over our basket of balls! What gives?" Kuramochi complained.

Harucchi quietly walked over to Sawamura and began checking on him and asking him questions as Miyuki attempted to explain that he was just some hot tempered kid from another baseball team.

Kuramochi whined loudly in Miyuki's ear.

"But Miyuki! They're all over the field! Come help us pick them up." His words droned on and Miyuki smacked him away.

"I'm tired! And I wasn't the one out there practicing!"

Tanba, who had been observing them all from against the wall, spoke up.

"Miyuki, where are your glasses?"

Everyone turned and Miyuki scratched his head and closed his eyes, attempting to think fast.

"I dropped them."

Opening his eyes and locking them with Tanba, the older boy nodded then turned to leave.

"Come on. Let's go pick up the balls and get in bed. We have early practice tomorrow."

Kuramochi whined and Harucchi watched as they all left, turning to give Miyuki a sad glance (at least thats what Miyuki assumed it was, he was frowning, honestly how he could see the ball with so much hair Miyuki had no idea) before turning to follow the others and softly shutting the door.

Miyuki groaned.

"I've had enough of tonight."

Sawamura nodded, a hollow look in his eyes and followed Miyuki to the bunk bed.

Sawamura's phone vibrated most of the night.

* * *

All the next day, Miyuki could hardly keep his eyes off Sawamura.

The incident with his "boyfriend" had caused Miyuki to see the boy in a new light. The young boy wasn't just in a relationship, which meant he obviously thought of things other than baseball which Miyuki just _couldn't _seem to wrap his head around, but the boy was also in an _abusive_ relationship.

How long had he been with this boy? Why was he still with him? What was his appeal? Did he like only boys, or girls too, or just this boy?

Miyuki shrugged off that last question. That one wasn't relevant really, he was just a curious boy.

Watching Sawamura now though, happy and pitching like a machine today, he couldn't help but feel a sick feeling in the back of his stomach as his mind conjured up images of abuse against the boy.

He had talked to Sawamura when they had woken up a little more. He didn't seem to want to talk about it, but allowed Miyuki some information.

Akuma is his boyfriend. They've been seeing each other for awhile but Akuma gets angry when he drinks.

"It's not a big deal," Sawamura had said. "Lots of people have fights in relationships. Sometimes they get physical."

Miyuki frowned at that. He had never really been in a relationship. He had been on quite a few dates, all of which with women. Never with a man, even though he definitely had men express interest in him. And men were rougher than women.

But Miyuki knew better. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that any of it was okay. He as a smart boy. He knew better.

"Hey! Sawamura! Let's take a break okay? You're getting a little tired."

Sawamura gave a whine and Miyuki laughed at him lightly, heading over to help Furuya pitch.

"When you cool down a bit go practice your bunts!"

Sawamura grumbled but went to go calm down for a bit. As he was catching for Furuya, Miyuki found himself having a hard time focus. Was that Sawamura talking? Who was he talking to?

Miyuki turned and froze. He could barely hear Furuya mumble about throwing the ball back but the words didn't really seem to register.

There was the tall boy, clad in jeans and a polo shirt, talking to Sawamura. Standing on the field.

"What is that bastard doing on my field?"

Miyuki felt anger arise deep in his stomach as he watched Sawamura smile slightly and pat the boys back. They exchanged a small hug before Akuma smiled softly and turned to leave.

Miyuki seethed and dropped the ball, standing to head over to Sawamura.

When he reached him, the boy looked completely fine.

"What the hell was that?"

Sawamura gazed at Miyuki, a confused look in his eyes.

"My... boyfriend? Coming to apologize."

Miyuki growled.

"Seriously Sawamura? You're staying with him?"

Sawamura frowned.

"I love him. He was drunk he didn't mean it."

Beyond angry, Miyuki threw his glove on the ground and began yelling louder at Sawamura. The other first string players began turning and Miyuki could hear there chatter but none of it was seeming to register.

"Is that Sawamura? Was that the guy last night...?"

"Are they going to fight?"

"Someone should go get coach before someone gets hurt..."

Sawamura turned his gaze away from Miyuki as he continued to yell.

"Are you really that stupid? Are you really just going to continue to- hey, look at me when I'm yelling at you baka, I'm not going to repeat myself!"

Sawamura turned his gaze onto him, his eyes hard and cold.

"I've been yelled at enough for this week I don't really appreciate it anymore."

That was enough.

Miyuki dropped silent. His shoulders slumped and he gazed at the ground.

"I appreciate you letting me stay with you when I needed to senpai. But being with who I want is my decision, not yours."

Eyes still downcast, Miyuki could hear Sawamura's footsteps echo away.

**I think I'm going to cut it off right here. Hope you enjoyed this chappie, next one should be up next week or the week after. This was more of a filler chapter, to allow us to see into how Sawmura's relationship is a vicious cycle and some insight on how it makes Miyuki feel.**

**As I've stated on my profile I have been rather busy and have a lot on my plate right now but I will attempt to keep the chapters coming on a semi regular bases. Thank you for your continued support! **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 5

**So I really apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I don't have much of an excuse besides that I've been busy partying and trying to maintain my 4.0 in all my classes. I've also just caught up on the anime of Fairy Tail, so you guys can expect some oneshots of that if you're into it. **

**On a side note, I recently discovered this FATABULOUS web series called Carmilla. If you like lesbians, vampires, lesbian vampires, or mysterys, go check out that show on YouTube. Some fanfics of it should be expected from me soon. I also just made a tumblr recently and it's absorbing my life! I haven't posted anything up on there really besides reblogs but if anyone would like to follow me, it's Couarfang15 as well.**

**Anyways...**

**Thanks for your continued support! I really appreciate reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything featured in this fic. All rights belong to their rightful owners, none of which are me.**

* * *

Class was boring today for Miyuki.

He had quizzes in most of his classes today so it's not like he had much to do. He smiled to himself as he ate his lunch roll. At least they had a game today. That was sure to be entertaining.

He turned as he heard a loud obnoxious yell followed by more obnoxious words.

"So he came today..." He muttered to himself.

It had been a few days since their fight on the field and Sawamura hadn't been around much anymore. The younger boy stopped showing up at his dorm late at night and he stopped pitching to him unless Chris-senpai wanted Miyuki to check his pitch for a few throws. As much as Miyuki enjoyed his time alone and his silence during his studying he had to admit to himself that he missed the loud, smiling idiot.

Sawamura turned from his lunch with the other first years and caught Miyuki's eyes for a moment, his gaze full of what seemed to be regret and something that Miyuki couldn't place.

And then, as quickly as his amber brown eyes came, they went. He ducked his head, gathered his food and made a move to the exit of the lunch room.

Miyuki quickly followed.

He followed Sawamura to a quiet hallway that seemed abandoned and the younger boy leaned against a wall. Miyuki stopped and leaned right next to him.

"You're avoiding me, Sawamura."

"I know. I'm sorry."

They were both quiet for a moment and Eijun sighed and scratched at his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to take my anger out on you. I didn't even want anyone to find out." The boy was quiet for a few moments and sighed before continuing. "I've never really come out to many people. And I've never really been with anyone else. I mean, I've never been much interested in dating. I've dated a few people before coming to Seido. But... I just, feel for him differently. And it's hard sometimes to figure out the right decision. Or to figure out what I want."

Miyuki said nothing so the boy continued, his voice seemingly smaller this time.

"Baseball is so much easier, and yet harder at the same time. And sometimes I just think, why isn't it as easy as that? As simple as my closeness for my teammates?"

Miyuki sighed and shifted against the wall slightly.

"Baka, sometimes it is that easy. Or I mean, sometimes it can be. Some relationships are easy and relaxed. While others don't work out."

A pregnant pause ensued between them before the younger of the two spoke up.

"Have you been in many relationships, Miyuki-senpai?"

Miyuki laughed, the sound echoing down the empty hall.

"Not really. I've been on many dates. But baseball is my life. And I rarely have an interest in relationships. I don't always have the time to pay attention to another person."

They were both silent for a few minutes and Miyuki glanced up to the clock on the wall. It was almost time for his next class.

He gazed at the younger boy next to him. He looked thinner than he usually did, his face slightly pale despite the amount of time they all spent outside. He couldn't see past his clothing but his mind automatically conjured up the image of the boy topless; his bruises dark blue, purple, and yellowish against his pale torso and scars littered across his skin.

Then he blinked and the image was gone.

"You should get to class." Miyuki stated quietly as the hallway started to fill. The boy shrugged, his gaze downcast.

"Aa."

He pushed himself off of the wall and began journeying down the hallway quietly, Miyuki's eyes following him as he walked away. Internally, Miyuki could feel the rage boiling hot in his chest. He desperately wanted to yell at the boy and tell him just how stupid and irresponsible he was being about this. Tell him how his boyfriend would never change, alcohol or not.

But he didn't. That just wasn't what the boy needed right now.

* * *

The game had gone off without much of a hitch and Miyuki returned to his dorm after his bath tired and sore. His legs hurt slightly from crouching for so long and his back felt a little rough too, but it was nothing unusual for him. At least it had been a fun game.

He changed into his pajamas, grey sweats and a long-sleeved shirt, and climbed into his bed. The least he could do was get a nice sleep. Tomorrow there was no school, and he planned on starting his practice a little early. Some batting practice sounded like fun.

He smiled at the thought and began to drift into dream land.

He was woken not too long after, a light rap on his door. Grumbling to himself he rubbed his eyes and swung his legs over the bed. The floor was cold as his feet hit it, eliciting another groan from the catcher. He attempted quickly to smooth out his minor bed head and glanced at his clock on his night stand. It read 12:30.

He swung the door open, and complained immediately.

"You know some of us are trying to get some sl-"

His words died in his mouth as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. There on his dorm step was a bloodied and beaten Sawamura, his shirt soaked in blood, his eye blackened, and several tears in his shirt. On is left forearm there was a blue black bruise, unmistakably a hand mark. His hair was messed up too, but Miyuki couldn't be sure if that was from sleeping or fighting. He decided on the later.

Sawamura leaned lightly on Miyuki's doorway and gave him a soft smile.

"Do you mind if I stay here tonight, Miyuki-senpai?"

The older boy growled lightly, but stepped aside.

"I'll find you some clean clothes. Take a seat on the bed. You can take the bottom tonight if you'd like."

Miyuki's voice was soft and controlled. Sawamura nodded solemnly and took a seat on the bed after he had stripped down to his boxers. As Miyuki returned with clean clothes he tried not to gaze at the younger boy too much. He could see new bruises forming, all of them angry and stark against his pale skin.

"Why come here? Why not your own dorm Sawamura?"

The younger boy gave a small shrug as he began to change his bandages with the fresh ones Miyuki had brought him.

"At first it was because he couldn't find me here and I didn't really want my senpai's to find out. Now it's different that he knows which dorm is yours. He _has _found me at my dorm before. Now no one lets him in my dorm. He came in there once and tried to beat me up. Kuramochi hit him good. But I don't really want fighting. I'm tired of the fighting."

He was quiet for a moment as he stared at the clothes that Miyuki had brought him.

"You deal with him so differently, it's like you know how to handle him. Although you do irritate him more than anyone else I've ever met. Though that might just be you."

They both chuckled softly before Eijun frowned.

"Am I stupid, Miyuki?"

Miyuki was quiet for a couple of moments as the other boy changed into his borrowed pajamas before sitting back down next to him once again.

"Yes."

Silence sounded out throughout the room for a moment before Miyuki took a deep breath.

"But I think you're just confused on this matter. Eventually you'll be able to make a better decision. And we're all here for you, you know. As stupid as you are and all."

Eijun smiled softly and Miyuki stood.

"We should get to bed, unless theres something else you need. I was planning on practicing early tomorrow."

Eijun nodded and Miyuki made to turn off the light. As he was about to climb up to the top bunk an arm reached out to stop him.

"Miyuki-senpai." The younger boys voice seemed small and shy compared to its usual loud and obnoxiousness. He took a breath before continuing. "Would you mind, maybe... staying down here? With me tonight? I don't really want to be alone..."

"You're not alone. I'll be right up there."

The boy released his arm and sunk back into the bed.

"Right, sorry."

Miyuki stood there for a moment in the silence as Eijun lay back on the bed and rolled over so his back was to Miyuki. The catcher gave a sigh before finally stepping off the ladder and climbing into the bottom bunk.

"Scoot over baka, this bed is small." He complained as he climbed in. Eijun's response was short, but Miyuki could have sworn he could hear a small smile in it.

"Aa. Goodnight Miyuki-senpai."

"Night baka."

* * *

**Well that's it for that one. Thank you all for waiting so long. Threw a little Misawa in there for you guys this chappie. Hope you enjoyed it. It may have to become M soon due to graphic violence and abuse, just so that everyone knows. Please review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't know why I write so late at night like goodness, what is my deal?**

**Alright so, a lot has been going on, and finals were pretty freaking rough so I didn't really want to rush this chapter because I'm going to try to write a longer chapter since I made you guys wait. I'm not very good at long chapters, so my apologies on that. And I can't stress enough that if you guys have any holiday prompts for me, I'd really love to hear them. I really want to make a contribution to the Carmilla fandom and I'd like to maybe do a MiSawa or possibly some other pairing. **

**Let me hear your ideas. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable. All rights belong to their rightful owners, none of which are me. **

The morning light shone brightly through the blinds, interrupting Miyuki's peaceful sleep.

"Fuckin- what..."

Miyuki rolled over and rubbed his eyes with heavy exhaustion, examining the smaller boy in his bed. He stretched slightly before closing his eyes again and taking a deep breath before forcing himself to get out of bed.

He stepped quietly to his book bag and searched through it.

Pencil? No. Book? Nu-uh...

He frowned slightly before smirking as he pulled out his near empty sports water bottle. He made his best attempt to hold back his snickers as he quietly walked back to wear Sawamura was lying in his bunk and pulled the covers back (which unsurprisingly wasn't very difficult seeing as he somehow always managed to kick them off in the night) to reveal the younger boys pajama bottoms. Very carefully, he popped the lid of the bottle up without quite opening it all the way.

With as great amount of caution as he could muster, he tilted the bottle to drizzle water onto the younger boys pants. When he was satisfied that there was just enough to make a convincing argument, Miyuki slid the bottle under the bead. And then...

"Oh my god Sawamura! Did you just fucking wet my bed?!"

Eijun's eyes snapped wide open and he flung himself into an upright position.

"What?! I-"

His head smacked onto the top of the bunk bed and he groaned, rolling out of the bed and falling onto the floor. Miyuki attempted to keep his face as straight as possible.

Eijun frantically attempted to nurse his forehead and check his pants.

"No! I mean, I didn't even drink anything last night!"

As the pitcher attempted to fumble with an apology, his catcher immediately busted out into laughter, clutching his sides.

"I can't... believe... you fell for that!" Miyuki gasped between breaths.

Eijun's face turned red in embarrassment and anger before he let out a sigh and went to fix the bed.

Ignoring Miyuki's howling laughter, he spoke and Miyuki listened.

"I want to thank you for letting me stay here. And dealing with my issues. And putting up with me. And letting me sleep in the bottom bunk because I toss and turn so much. And-"

Eijun stopped his sentence and froze and the door knob jiggled before a loud series of knocks. They both stood silent for a moment, the pitcher staring at Miyuki with wild, frightened eyes.

"Who is it?" Miyuki's voice was gruff from his laughter and the remains of sleep. Eijun heard a familiar groan from the other side of the door.

"I know he's in there with you four-eyes. Let him out or let me in so we can settle this finally."

Miyuki closed his eyes for a moment before turning to Eijun, his teeth grit tightly.

"You're going to sit on the bed. And you're not going to say a word. And I'm going to take care of this."

Sawamura shook his head no, but made to sit on the bed anyways. Miyuki sighed as he attempted to fix his bed head slightly before unlocking and opening the door.

"What is it you want? It's the weekend and my only day off practice, I hope you have a good excuse."

The tall boy attempted to brush past Miyuki and head straight to Eijun but found Miyuki's hand on his arm. He attempted to shake him.

"This isn't any of your business catcher boy."

"My room my business."

The lanky boy turned to glance between Miyuki and Sawamura before a cold, disgusted chuckle came from his mouth.

"_Oh. _I get it. You're fucking your catcher."

Sawamura opened his mouth to yell in outrage but the glare he received from Miyuki was enough to keep him quiet. Akuma looked at Miyuki, a seething glint in his eyes.

"He was fucking _mine_."

"He doesn't belong to anyone. He's not a thing, he's a person."

They glared at each other, an intense heat swirling in the pit of Miyuki's stomach as he let his anger get the best of him and spit in the boys face.

Then, everything went to shit.

The tall boy swung his free arm in an attempt to headlock Miyuki, to which Miyuki responded with a twist to the boys wrist. The lanky teen broke free and made to swing at Miyuki, which the boy anticipated.

What he hadn't anticipated was a knee to his gut and Miyuki doubled over in pain as a fist landed on his spine. He could vaguely hear Eijun sobbing from his spot on the bunk and screaming something but it didn't register completely.

Akuma grabbed the top of his shirt and lifted him so that he could land a punch to his face before throwing him to the floor.

Miyuki regained himself slowly, seeing Eijun stand and run yelling at the lanky boy. They struggled for a moment and Miyuki couldn't hear what they were saying through the roaring in his ears. He stood slowly, his vision turning slightly red as he limped towards the boys who were too involved in their own squabble to notice him. He swung his right fist up into the tall boys face, his fist colliding with a healing bruise.

The lanky teen stumbled back clutching his face and screaming out in pain. Eijun looked frightened for a moment before relief slipped in.

The door then flung open with a slam and there stood Kuramochi, Masuko, and Ryosuke.

"We heard screaming. And I figured this baka's baka had found his way into here." Kuramochi explained.

They all at once went to grab Akuma in an attempt to contain him. He flung his long lanky arms about at him, smacking Kuramochi in the face, an action that earned him a kick in the ass from Ryosuke and whispers of terrible things to come.

They led him out, promising to come back and check on them after they had him contained by the campus security.

The door shut soundly behind them and Miyuki and Sawamura were left to their aftermath.

Miyuki sighed heavily, his knees buckling beneath him as his adrenaline passed and he slid to the floor. Sawamura followed him, a hallow look in his eyes.

"Well that was a little too eventful for my tastes." Miyuki mumbled. Sawamura made no reply and the catcher leaned back to lay on the floor.

"Your pants are still wet."

Again there was silence from the younger boy, but he stood and wandered over to the drawer of Miuyki's dresser where they had begun to keep the clothes that he brought over here. He picked a pair and changed out of his wet pajama bottoms. Miyuki kept his eyes closed the entire time, but could hear the boy walk towards him and join him once again on the floor.

"We should get something for your nose. And go look at glasses today before Akuma asks for his money back."

Miyuki gave a nod, but said nothing and Eijun gave a slight chuckle.

"Thank you." The younger boy mumbled.

There was a comfortable pause and then a slight pressure on Miyuki's forehead. Was that... was that Eijun's lips?

He opened his eyes, but the boy was already standing, a slight flush of pink dusting his nose and ears.

"I'm going to go get some ice and bandages and stuff. I'll be back soon."

Then Miyuki was alone.

**Well, it didn't really end up longer than usual, but I kind of want to get this up and my buddy totally needs me to go save him from an awful date he's on. So you all enjoy this little chappie and there should be another one up _fairly _soon. Finals are done and I will probably write some holiday oneshots later this weekend. **

**Review please, I really appreciate the support. Tell me how the fight scene went! I've never written one before that I actually posted so sorry if it's a bit rough.**


	7. Chapter 7

**So the reason this is so late is because I've written it out several times already and didn't like any of them. I guess it's a small case of writers block. I also got Netflix and school has started back up.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Anything you recognize doesn't belong to me and all rights belong to their rightful owners.**

**This chapter will be Eijun's POV. Let me know how you feel about that. **

_Eijun's POV_

I almost screamed as my knees gave out beneath me and I slid onto the hot shower floor.

My bangs covered my eyesight and the water cascading swiftly down my face would be easy to mistake for the shower water rather than tears. I reached up and twisted my fingers into my hair and shut my eyes tightly, biting my own lip to silence myself.

I had lost him.

No matter what the others had said about him or what he was like when he was angry, I loved Akuma. Sure he was rough and he drank a lot and I was pretty much the only one that liked him but that was because he was just rough on the outside. The others just didn't understand.

I constantly tried to tell myself in my head, repeating over and over again that he was a bad person, that I was stupid to love him, but it was a lie I just couldn't bring myself to believe. I could still remember meeting the tall, handsome boy who made me feel like maybe it wasn't such a crime to be attracted to men. I could remember him taking me out wherever I wanted to go, buying me things that I liked, spending time talking to me when I was upset about practice or even before I had decided to come to Seido.

I frowned as I thought of Seido. Maybe it was that decision that had driven us apart? He hadn't liked the idea of me moving away to be around a bunch of other boys, and girls. That was the first time he had gotten angry with me. That was the first time we fought. He had hit me, then he threatened to kill both of us.

I shook my head and the tears kept flowing. No, I refused to think of that. He was just angry. He loved me too.

I could feel another sob wrack through my body. But I had lost him. He thought I was sleeping with Miyuki. Which was absurd, because who would sleep with such a sadistic weirdo?

My thoughts ran quiet for a moment and the water began to run cold.

No, Miyuki was nothing but good to me. He was a good person, deep down.

I could feel my breathing quicken as my body raced to catch up with my mind and the sadness and panic all my thoughts had instilled in me. I was hyperventilating now and made a poor effort at containing my sounds as my mind began to seemingly flash black at me. Panic rose high in my chest and I could hear my own heart pumping blood in my ears.

What was happening to me?

I clutched harder at my hair and attempted to breath but it wasn't working. I could hear the bathroom door swing open but I couldn't bring myself to stop my frantic attempt at gaining oxygen. I chocked on some water. I made an attempt to stand but my legs were shaking as was the rest of my body.

What is this? Is this a heart attack?

I could hear the foot steps coming my way but I couldn't move. More panic seemed to seep into me being as my breathing became worse and I leaned onto all fours to steady myself.

Wow, these shower floors are filthy.

I could vaguely think about who would be in here this late at night before I heard the footsteps move closer yet and a loud gasp. I struggled to regain some composure but found I didn't need to.

"You know, those floors are disgusting. And if you throw up on them, you'll probably be doing them a favor. They might get cleaned better."

My breathing slowed a bit but I couldn't stop or move or speak. I made an attempt but his name came out as a broken mess. I watched his eyes through my blurry vision as he took in my pathetic form.

He had a deep concerned look on his face and he leaned over to shut off the water, soaking his shirt in the process. He kneeled down next to me and put his hand on my back.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. I used to get these all the time. You just gotta try to breathe. Just listen to my voice okay? It's gonna be over soon. You can handle this."

I gasped and coughed a bit and reached to rub my eyes. Things began to come slowly back into focus as he talked to me, not just calming words but also of things. Of how late it was, what was going to be for breakfast, how tomorrow we could maybe work in the bullpen together.

My breathing evened out eventually and I sat back against him. Despite my nude and soaked state he didn't seem to move.

"Would you like to stand?" His voice was slightly softer this time and I nodded. He spoke again.

"Would you like help to stand?" I nodded again and he stood, extending his hand to me. I took it gratefully, albeit a little embarrassed.

After I decided that yes, I could hold myself up, I dried myself off. Miyuki brought me my clothes and helped me to dress.

"I can do it on my own you know." My voice was crackled and stubborn. He laughed.

"But it's much funner this way."

We both stood quietly and he slid his hands into his pockets once I was dressed.

"Shall we head back to my dorm? Or would you like to attempt to explain to your roommates why you're up around two in the morning taking a shower?"

I shrugged and he replied with a shrug of his own. He began to lead the way to his dorm and I quietly followed.

"How did you know where I was?" My voice was hushed but I could still hear the crackle that reminded me of my episode.

The catcher shrugged and glanced around as he fished for his key.

"Sometimes you just have a feeling, you know?"

For a moment I was genuinely awed by his care until we were in his room and he gave a snicker.

"And sometimes Kuramochi and I sneak into the others rooms together and pull pranks. When he noticed you were gone I told him I'd go look for you and he could go prank Tetsu-san on his own."

I sweat-dropped.

"I should have known it was something like that."

He gave a slight chuckle, but it didn't reach his eyes. He made an indicaiton for me to sit on his bottom bunk.

"Sit. We can talk while I find a change of clothes."

I nodded and watched quietly as he flitted about the room for something dry to change into.

"How are you feeling?" His voice was slightly guarded, as if it was a question he needed to ask but didn't know if it was okay. I found myself staring at the floor as he began to change.

"Tired,"

He gave a small chuckle.

"Panic attacks can do that to you." He was quiet for another moment before continuing. "Was that the first time you've had one?"

"Yeah."

He was quiet again and I looked up to find him topless searching for a shirt. I felt my ears get hot and began to stare at the clock.

"They can be pretty rough, I know. I used to have them a lot. Now I only have them sometimes. They're pretty normal, and actually fairly common, so don't feel like you're a freak or that you're alone. Because you're not."

I sighed and I felt the bed dip beside me and turned to him. He was watching me patiently, his new glasses resting low on his nose.

I pushed them up a little.

"I won't."

For a brief moment I wondered if Miyuki tasted as good as he smelled.

But then he turned and the moment was gone, broken by his weird sense of humor.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm no counselor but... I've had a lot of experience with stress. And I can try to help I guess. But don't go telling everyone or they'd all probably want advice from me for everything!"

I chuckled a little before heaving a large sigh. I stared at my phone for a bit and both of us were silent.

"We should get some sleep." My voice was quiet again and I wondered if he had heard me.

"Yeah."

Reluctantly I pushed myself from the bed and climbed onto the top bunk. He shut the lights off but the darkness did nothing to quiet my mind.

"I loved him."

The words seemed to echo in the silence of Miyuki's room and for a moment I wondered if I had actually imagined vocalizing my feelings. Then, Miyuki's reply came. It was short and not at all what I wanted to hear.

"I know." The sound was sad and I felt an ache in my chest to know that he was sad because of my pain.

"I want to be with him."

The silence seemed to roar in my ears and after a few minutes I wondered if Miyuki had fallen asleep or decided that he didn't want to listen to my mess.

Then a large sigh sounded through the room and the catchers voice followed.

"Eijun, I can't stand seeing you like this all the time. Something needs to change."

We were both quiet for awhile and then he continued.

"Akuma isn't going to. Sometimes... no matter how hard you try to jam to puzzle pieces together, they just don't belong."

He said nothing else but I could hear him shift slightly in his bed.

I said nothing, but fell asleep reflecting on his words.

**Woah okay, I'm just going to let it stop there. I have an idea where I want the next chapter to go, and I don't have an exam for at least another week, soooo I'm going to give an estimate of about 3-4 weeks the next chapter should be up. The first half of it is already written.**

**I really appreciate all of you that enjoy the story, and all of your support, even through my rough agenda of updating so go ahead and feel free to give me some feedback on how you feel about this particular chappie. Love to hear your opinions.**


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